If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts or complicated grief, please know that support is available. You can call or text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org for free, 24/7 help.

Kristy Steenhuis was 28 years old when her husband, Matthew, died by suicide. She was a mother of two young children, left to navigate devastating grief, community judgment, and the unrelenting quiet that followed loss.

There were no support groups for young widows in her rural town. No roadmap for explaining suicide to her kids. No one who seemed to understand.

So Kristy became what she needed.

What began as a small, homegrown support group quickly grew into a force. Today, Kristy is a national leader in suicide postvention—developing resources, consulting on responsible media portrayals, and shaping the way Australia supports the bereaved.

Don’t miss the Standby Support resources below!

Here are the biggest takeaways from Kristy’s episode of She Diaries:

1. If support doesn’t exist—build it.

For four years, Kristy searched for anyone who could help her make sense of what she was feeling. When she couldn’t find it, she created a postvention group in her community that would eventually serve hundreds.

2. Postvention is prevention.

Kristy believes what happens after a suicide can prevent future deaths. When families are supported, grief is validated, and resources are accessible, people are more likely to heal in healthy ways—and less likely to feel lost or alone.

3. Explain suicide to children in language they understand.

To help her children make sense of Matthew’s death, Kristy used the metaphor of racehorses with blinders. Even though they were right beside him, she explained, he couldn’t see them through the pain.

4. Grief is heavy—but sharing it lightens the load.

From washing dishes with Pantene to starting a national initiative, Kristy’s community showed up. The best support came from those who didn’t try to fix it—just helped carry the weight.

5. Media portrayals of suicide matter.

Kristy now works with filmmakers to ensure suicide is shown responsibly on screen. During one production, she had to hold her ground when the crew proposed filming graphic scenes. Her response was firm: “If you show that, I walk.”

6. You can’t save everyone—and that’s okay.

Kristy used to believe no one should die on her watch. But a psychologist told her: If you save everyone, you leave no one for others to save. That wisdom helped her set healthier boundaries in her advocacy work.

Kristy’s voice, her advocacy, and her heart have changed the postvention landscape in Australia. What began as a personal tragedy has become a national mission—and a reminder that healing ripples outward when we choose to reach in.

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🖇️ StandBy Support After Suicide resources:

• What do I say, What do I do?
• Why is grief after suicide different?
• Suggested Books and Information